opening up!

bismillahirahmanirahim...

assalamualaikum and a very good night, humans!

I've been so busy and tired lately! when will I have time for myself? ㅠㅠ today although don't have much classes, but I felt so tired and it's been so hectic as well. assignments, presentations, homework, etc.. those were the things, correction, PART of the things that I need to do! gahhhhh! it haven't included some of the personal stuffs. but I think today was the day that all of those messed up things in my mind burst! this was what had happened today...

it was Learning Support class today and Miss Amrien thought that we might play some games in class, but miss noticed that we looked very tired and frustrated so she guessed that our mind and body might have been feeling disoriented because of the work and problems. so, the game had to be halted first. first, miss asked us to take out a piece of paper, any paper and let us write the things that was in our head that could make us be like that. so, I write and write and write until I noticed that I had soooooooooo many things to do in such a small period of time. then, miss asked us to arrange it in order, from the most important to the least, based on the due date. so I arrange and arrange and arrange. then I realized that I had to do soooooooooooooooooooo much for this weekend! 왜요?! WAEYO?! huhu~ then whilst we were arranging all of the things that we need to do, miss told us about her side of the story, when she was still a student like us. during the story was told, I reflected every word that came out from miss's mouth and related it with my own. I found out that me and Miss Amrien had a lot in common! so, while reflecting the story, I almost didn't noticed that my tears almost flowing out! I don't even know why I cried...

TETT! pause for awhile! this is what you guys should know about me at this point; first, I hate (hate here means... umm, how to say... ah, you'll get what I mean) seeing people cried, being bullied, sad, depressed, etc., me myself will feel what they feel at that time and before I know it, I'll cry. I'm a emphatic person and I could easily feel sad when other people is in trouble or feel that same way as me. k, enough about me, let's continue... ^^

 then, miss continued her story, in spite that she saw me shedding tears. I could feel my life had been told by her. we had so much in common. at first, I excused myself from the class to go to the gents. for what? to cry. I cried so much until I felt that asthma was going to attack me at that time, and nobody is in the gents besides me. so I kept my cool and tried to calm myself down. once done, I washed my face and entered the class, poker-faced. I sat back and miss was still going on with the story. then it came. I cried once again and some of my classmates noticed it. they told me not to cry but...

TETT! pause again! this is another part of me you guys should know. when I am crying silently and people started to notice it and tell me about it, I started to break and cry even worst. I am the kind of person when people feel sympathy for me, I immediately felt loved and burst into tears. I've been like this for a long time now. and still am. huhu~ so, back to the story!

it's too late. I broke and tears started falling. miss told me if I wanted to be excuse again, be I. so, I chose to go out again and cried. I locked myself again and I heard that my room mate came to seek me, just to comfort me. he was calming me down from outside the door where I was in. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. he knew that I needed some space so he left the gents and left me be. sooner after that, I stopped and washed my face again. but when I came back into the class, I saw some of my classmates already had puffy red eyes. they had been crying too. when I was out, miss had an 'opening up' sessions for those who wanted to say what's in their mind. then alas, it was my turn. I thought that I might wanna keep it to myself but I think it was better for me and my health. so I told my problems and I felt that I wanted to burst again but I held it in. stammering, I told them that I can be mean sometimes but I didn't mean everything that I said. I also told them I knew that I offended them sometimes and I apologized.

and last, we had a 'make up' sessions and apologize to everyone. we sang Barney's famous song, I Love You and hugged and shook hands with each other...

and that was that. some of the stories are mixed up as I wasn't paying much attention when all of those things happens. I went back to my room and slept. I slept from 2pm till 7pm! I was soooooo tired! OMG! huhuu~ but after I woke up, I felt more refreshed and less burdened than before.

so, moral of the story is...

1. opening up is a good way to feel good and refreshed. better it be voiced, written, sung, etc.. find something that could help you release all of those burdens that came to you. let it be the beverage for you to feel refreshed everyday!
2. don't let it all in inside of you. let some out. you might be too stressed and all the work you do, none is worthy.
3. if you're too stress, just cry. crying can help you feel better. if you don't want people to see you cry, cry in silence. or you can just find a cat, and play with their furs if you're a cat lover. their furs can help you feel better and less stress.
4. do something nice for someone sincerely. it can help you become a happier and cheerful person as their smiles will bright up your days. NEVER ask something in return and NEVER brought up the things you done to them. 

I think that is all that I wanted to share with you guys. I really need to spend some time to blog. I miss all those blogging days before... lalala~

goodnight and so long people! 

  Channie says night night ^_^