Read, Write and Recite

Bismillahirahmanirahim, Not in the mood of writing actually, but I feel like I just want to let it out.           Have you ever got the feeling of the things that you love and adore the most broke, destroyed, or went missing from your possession and got lost? Yeah, the painstaking ache in your heart. You can't physically feel it. But it's there. In your heart and mind. 'Cause everything is in your head. Yup.           I'm tired of being hurt. No. Rephrase that. I'm tired of hurting myself. Not in the physical way like slicing your wrist or drug overdose. I meant in the mental and psychological way possible. One of them is through expectation. If you read my previous blog post, you'll understand why I say that. Expectation hurts. So does hoping.           It's hard to teach your mind not to think much about stuffs, especially in this ephemeral life. Nothing stays. Especially living things and things that yo...

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and hey, peeps! Such a warm and sunny morning we have 'ere, aite?           Again, after quite a long hiatus from this beloved blog of mine, I feel like to write something about what happened recently in my life. If you know me, I won't blog about something that is not important and meaningful (for me), and even if it's not important to you, as if I care 'cause it's my blog, peeps. Not yours, mine, okay? Okay good.  My Practicummates--Dadaw and Aizat           If you are following me on my multiple social media i.e. Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, you'll know that I'm a trainee teacher, training at an institute, specialised in training future primary school teachers and I am already in my final year of Degree. In the first semester of the final year, we have to undergo three months of (painstakingly, tiresome professional practice programme also known as) Practicum in a school g...

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and hola, peeps! It's rather hot today and also tonight. Hmm~ I've been so busy lately with work and school stuff that I have (almost) totally forgotten about this beloved blog of mine. I saw one of my juniors had just updated hers, and I suddenly felt like updating mine (which I actually wanted to procrastinate from doing my AR proposal). *small laughs* Since I'm already in my final year of Degree in Teaching, we have to conduct a small research on a problem in teaching and learning the international language, English, since it's my major for this degree. Before we have to conduct the research, we need to write a proposal proposing of what we wanted to do on which issue that is suitable to be conducted upon. We have to write it within the word limit of 3200 words and well, most of my classmates had gone over the limit, I might as well follow their path. Hahaha.  I am actually almost half of the way to finishing it,...

Assalamu'alaikum wbt and annyeong, peeps! It's rather a gloomy day today. When should I do my laundry then? Hmmm Being someone who is a good listener in the group is a bless for some people, and also for me. I like being trusted for you to tell your problems and feelings to. It makes me feel trusted and loved. And I seriously like that. And not only that, I also like to give comforting or motivating words, depends on your preferences and needs at the moment. The feeling is great when you are able to help someone who seriously needs the comfort and presence of someone who cares for them. But I don't know for others though, sometimes when you have so many people confessing, pouring everything to you, you can feel more or less the same burden as them. For me, I can keep those 'burdens' for a short period of time to as long as I can keep them inside. And this can indirectly affect me. Slightly or deeply. But when it comes to contact with my own problems and burdens...

Assalamu'alaikum wbt and sawadeekrap, peeps! Been so busy lately with study and work and finally a wee bit of rest before the real challenge starts. Apart from being busy with my study and other organisational work (student council in which I had already retired from YEAH!), I am also keeping myself hectic and active with other things that I haven't tried before. But if you already knew me before this, I was a passive and inactive person, ever since primary school. I hate being active in any extra-curricular activities such as sports and clubs, unless that club is related to something I like and passionate about i.e. English. One of the reasons I dislike being active in these EC activities is because I hate to mingle around with people back then. I don't know, but maybe it's related to my low self-esteem and confidence. However, when I entered IPG, I was still the same during foundation years and a year after Degree program. But everything changed in 2015. I became...

Assalamu'alaikum wbt and hola, peeps! Almost entering the third week of the new year already. How time flies. See anything different? Yes. I changed the title of my blog and the description. Stupendulous. You might ask what does it mean. You might ask whether it exists or not. Well, just like the word 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', it doesn't. But people know it exists. The latter (and long) word is extracted from the famous movie, Mary Poppins, starred by the talented and beautiful Julie Andrews. It is a ludicrous word and it is meant to explain things that are un-explainable in words, so the scriptwriter created this word to explain those types of things. Same goes to 'Stupendulous'. It doesn't mean a thing, but it is meant to explain something that are too wonderful, awesome and incredible. So the goal of the change that I made is to make myself be daring to change to something that you can find too awesome, too incredible and too wonderful to...

Bismillahirahmanirahim~ Assalamu'alaikum and hey guys! The sun is looking mighty fine today ay~ Today's post is more personal for me (I think) but I think some of you might be able to relate to it. Well, I had just gone through with my last paper for this semester's final examination last Thursday and every student (or more like vagabond) who is far far away from home and who hasn't gone back home for quite some time might feel this whenever the last paper is coming around the corner. The 'Last Paper Syndrome'. And I felt it though. Not much. But still, I could feel it. Last Paper Syndrome or LPS (for short) is a mental distraction for those who are having their last paper but already have the feeling of starting their holiday early and not studying at all. AT ALL. They might start with the packing and stuff (especially us who have to change rooms next semester and us who are flying back home) and the feeling of studying disintegrates almost completely in...

Bismillahirahmanirahim~ Assalamu'alaikum wbt and hey again, peeps! I've been doing a lot--I mean A LOT--of thinking lately. Maybe it was due to stress or even problems that don't even exist yet. (This is the major problem with overthinkers. Yup, that's it. Overthinking.) For the past 4 and a half years that I've been away from my family (for quite a long time, disregarding the holiday periods) and studying in this IPG, I've noticed a lot of things. In me, and in my other friends as well. First, you would learn to value your family. Like a lot. Maybe for those who have been staying in hostels or dorms had had experienced this kind of things, but when it comes to staying at the hostels and dorms and being thousands of miles away from home (element: hyperbole), you'll learn to appreciate the presence and existence of a group of people called 'family'. Honestly writing ('cause I'm practically writing, and not speaking), I value my friends ba...

Bismillahirahmanirahim~ Assalamu'alaikum wbt and hey everyone! Long time no write on this abandoned blog of mine. It's not because that I'm busy or anything of some sort, it's just that I'm lazy and I almost forgot the existence of this blog. Hahaha. (I'm sorry, blogger) Now that I'm back for like more than a year (I think), I have so much to talk about.  First is about my comeback here on this blog. I don't know whether I am back permanently or just a short 'visit and write' here. I was actually inspired by one of my classmates who got hired for her writing skills in her blog. (You can read them here:  adawiyahrosli ). She got hired about a year ago by a famous online shopping website known as  Zalora Malaysia  and she only noticed it recently. Thankfully the offer is still on and Alhamdulillah she got hired. (Congrats, Dadaw yeay!) I am deeply inspired by this (and maybe hoping to be hired as a writer as well, soon. I always dream of earni...

bismillahirahmanirahim... someone asked me in the past, "...why are you being unfair to your family?! you even fight with your siblings, but when you are with your friends, you're such a goodie-two-shoes!" honestly, I am like that... why? because I know that when you fight with your family, sometimes, most of the times you can always make up again. just like the Malay proverb goes, "Carik-carik bulu ayam, akhirnya bercantum juga..." the literal meaning of the proverb is when you pluck the chicken's feathers, in the end, they will stick again. but the implicit meaning of this proverb is whenever or whatever fights you might have with someone, especially your family, you would certainly make up again with them. your family is the very first group to be with you from the earliest part of your life till now. when you were born in this world, a couple of people, lovely and loving people would be there for you to catch you —well of course that the do...

Would the sunlight be enough To even start a new dawn Of a new day full with joy And tears and hearts to be tended Does the clear blue sky be glad To even welcome the awoken lad From his abyssal dreamland And his safety boat Greeted by the cold water Dripping down onto his hot skin Waging wars those two Then the lad shivered by the Soft and chilly morning breeze Tick tock tick tock the hand went Mocking him for his sloth Urging him to haste his Actions without doubt and care Hundred steps till the castle be reached Castle full with words And faces of his acquaintances One heart to be tended Arrows flying everywhere Shield to be enforced around A fragile heart as thin as The thinnest glass But one arrow pierced through And cracked a piece of the heart A wound is left unintended A scar would form lest The lad would kill Till dusk and dark the heart Still rocking . . . Lost Quill Greetings! Long time no write in this abandon blog of mine. It's b...

bismillahirahmanirahim... long time no see, my blog. I kinda miss you. I kinda miss writing. informally, not academically... I've been pondering over some words that kept banging onto my ear drums since this morning: "...those who likes to post so much are attention seekers/seeking for attentions." when I reflect that upon myself, I thought of something... "maybe I do need some eyes to see me. to watch over me. to care for me." it's not that I'm blaming the person who said this or something... it's just- it hit me straight to the heart. "was I being sincere...?"   when I posted stuffs on Facebook, Twitter and such, honestly, I do seek for 'likes'. why? because I need someone to notice me. I would be kinda disappointed when no one likes my post, sincerely. I didn't know when and how did I become like this... was it since my father passed away...? was it since that unfaithful incident that I dare not to talk ab...

assalamualaikum wbt long time no write in this virtual diary of mine... laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you will weep alone... now here I am writing again in this holy fasting month, Ramadhan. (what?) yes it is. ahlan wa sahlan, ya Ramadhan... on the first day of fasting today, I felt a bit calmer. but inside, there is a chaos going on. I don't know what is happening nowadays but I think that I am entering the 'turbulent period' of my own life. you know, when you feel like you wanted to rebel and throw tantrums here and there. yeah, it's like that. humans are basically and naturally like this; if you feel unsatisfied with something, you should go find someone and kill. or you can just find a gun and aim at your head and pull the trigger or you can find a sharp knife and slit your throat with it. nah, I'm just kidding. just throw tantrums and stuff is enough. no need to be aggressive anyways. you still need to live. even though most people ...

BISMILLAHIRAHMANIRAHIM! good morrow, people! "...to be or not to be. that's the question." OMG! the thing that I really dislike... I mean, HATE, the most is... ACTING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! especially when it contains memorizing and really acting properly. ugh. I really hate that. furthermore, I am 'somewhat' one of the most important character also in the modified Shakespearean drama, Much Ado About Nothing. it's been modified so that the settings are in the Borneo Island, well basically at Sabah and Sarawak and the time is around the 16th century. so, no big cities or contemporary stuffs. all old school and all are indigenous people. I was chosen to be the father to one of the heroine in the drama, which is Leonato a.k.a. Lento (Borneo style name), a father to Hero a.k.a. Henna (Borneo style name). cool, isn't it? I'm a governor of a district or region in Sabah. *sound effect* uuuu~ hahaha!  he a.k.a. Lento has quite a few lines, and yeah... I ...

bismillahirahmanirahim... [BGM : Yuna & Chris Blade - Favourite Thing ] have you ever wondered why everything is build and in the end, they are broken down again...? I always wonder the same thing for thousands of years (exaggerating much ._.) it's the same for me. when I start to build up my confidence once more, there is always something, always tries to break it down again and again and again. curse that 'something'.  I've been broken enough by those words and eyes that would always judge without thinking of knowing me closer and closer. that's why gaps are created between us. us? who? it's obvious lol. it's me and them. them as in the people around me. duh. noticed. I noticed that some are trying to keep themselves away from me, trying to not be hurt by me. me, the troublemaker, the problematic boy. when we try to build yourself up, just remember that there are thousands of bulldozers trying to break you down. just keep building and find ...

bismillahirahmanirahim... damn it's been busy for the past couple of weeks! arghhhh! ya ALLAH, please ease up everything for me! huhuhuu~ I am loud, but unheard... I am clear, but unseen... I am here, but unreached... sometimes, I really wish that I was gone... not existed in this cruel world. my childish behaviour really had gone out of mind. I know sometimes it would be the most annoying thing to you guys. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. but please don't worry about me. I am nothing to you guys. my tears are nothing to you guys. just let me be and walk pass me. treat me like a garbage, a trash, a worthless thing. I'm not giving up yet, it's just I'm giving up on you. I've been hurt too much, especially when it comes to friends. I've been punched, kicked, spitted. it's just nothing. but when I'm being ignored, especially when it comes to my friends, it really hurt much. sometimes I wish that I would just be someone that you guys ...

bismillahirahmanirahim... I'm suddenly active in updating my blog, huh? well, AS IF people will read it. some are just too 'busy' to read it. AT LEAST learn something about my past BEFORE starting to JUDGE me. none is judge of others as they are the only judge of themselves... sometimes, I even wonder why did I make my own blog? what I thought at first, first, I'm a no one. second, who am I to post a blog? third, it's just about my life and not educational, religious, political, et cetera stuffs. fourth, I'm just an ordinary kid. and LOL! the first, second and fourth are as the same thing -. -''' whatever. the thing I hate is when I have problems and stuff, they would ask me. and THEY SHOULD NOT ASK ME DIRECTLY! because I hate talking. so, sometimes, I put it in my blog or something. so, JUST READ IT. shut it and read. and another thing you guys should know about me. I don't like to express myself. and how do I express myself? through my...

bismillahirahmanirahim... assalamualaikum and good morrow, people! tadaa! I don't know why but I'm really into psychologist, even before the public exam SPM. at first I thought I loved, and still loving it, because I can read people easily and I wanted to help people by giving some advice, just like a counselor. but, now I love it because of something else, that me myself could not know. it's like trying to open the Pandora's box. lol. yeah I know. it's really complicated. sometimes I regretted of ever coming to IPG because I really love psychology and I really wanted to sharpen my skills in reading people. but I am grateful also for I have been given this wonderful opportunity to join this IPG and met with some new friends ^^  once we are bonded by the strong thread of friendship, nothing and no one can break it except ALLAH swt... okay, I've been thinking deeply lately. I think I should really ignore what others are feelings instead and c...

bismillahirahmanirahim... assalamualaikum and good morrow... when one side is shone by the Sun, the other will be covered by dark shadows... hello again. so, yesterday I posted about my 'good' side. now, I'm going to expose about my dark side, my evil side, my bad side. *post script! this post my resulting of you hating me, despising me, ignoring me. if you want to do so, please, feel free to read. I bet none will not read this. who am I to you right? 一 I'm always paranoid. sometimes I think, felt and know that something that I dislike is going to happen and I really become stress when I think about it. 二 I really over-think things. and it always made me feel tensed and stressed out.  三 I could easily feel jealous, especially towards my friends and BEST FRIENDS. when they do something I wanted to do with someone else, my heart will ache easily.  四 I'm an emotional wreck. I get moody and gloomy sometimes, some with reasons, some out of the blue. but...